PER: Post-Election Ramblings

If you wanted an organized post... this ain't it.  But the election did wake me from a kid-imposed reverie, so how do you do, long lost readers!

The guy I voted for didn't win.  No surprise there though - he was just trying to get 5% of the vote.  He racked up about 348,000 votes with $1 million while it took the other two major candidates over $6 billion to get elected.  Neither candidate's campaign money would have bought much, though, so we enter into another deadlocked government in which everyone's voice is heard but nothing gets done.

To wit:  There's been so much focus on the economy, and right now the only economy I would care to focus on is my own right now.  I think every generation goes through this - some precipice they feel the country is standing on, looking over an abyss of unknown, wondering where the future and elected politicians will take them.  Every era has a defining moment, and yet the sun still rises.  We've still got thousands of people living in Third World country conditions in NY and NJ after Hurricane/Superstorm Sandy and now Winter Storm Athena is setting her wintry sights on the NE seaboard.

Bush-era tax cuts are set to expire this year, and there's no indication now that they will be renewed.  For folks who have shored up their monetary resources to ensure a comfortable retirement (i.e. not depend so much on government resources at end of life), this is now a serious problem.  And with the baby boomers entering retirement age and flooding Medicare and Social Security, I see only one thing (and this I am very graphic about):  The stuck pig is about to be bled dry.  And this doesn't even include other social programs that have yet to fully come to fruition.

We're in the midst of another cultural revolution right now, which is an exciting time for many people.  The youth vote turnout is high, states are decriminalizing pot and gay marriage, the discussions about equal pay for men and women have finally been taking hold, and the racial demographic of our landscape is changing rapidly.  It's also a discouraging time for others, as discussions about women's rights and contraception are still forefront on the men of Capitol Hill.

Speaking of culture, I want to point out that American culture has always been tied to racial diversity, even if over the last generation it seems that white folks are just white folks. The Germans, Polish and Italians in my grandparents' day are today's Latinos, Middle Easterners and Chinese.  Maybe it's a matter of labeling.  But not every immigrant in this country is looking for a handout - in fact, there are many more who came here from socialist countries and found the United States to be a wide-open land of opportunity, one that was not tied down to a militaristic or socialist stronghold, where even the worst days in poverty on U.S. soil didn't come close to comparing to life in their home territory.

So what does this have to do with the Presidential election?  I think there are a few things to point out:

- Obama may have won, but by a very small margin.  If there's any hope for the Democrats to retain Presidential power post 2016, his policies must be sold better to the American public.  They are still incredibly polarizing; as we move through the months toward each deadline in Obamacare, the stakes will simply be higher.

- Note to elected officials:  Public assistance cannot be sold, voted on or based on race, skin color or age anymore.  All demographics in varying degree are now demanding it.  

- It is bad when men try to talk about women's rights.  At all.

- Duuuuuuuuuuuuude.  More tax income!

- The financial preparations my husband and I must make for us and our children are now more solidly tied to public policy than ever before.

This last point is what sticks in my mind while we move forward and hope that our three elected branches of government might work together on compromise.  And it's not just asking Republicans to stop filibustering and play nice with Obama's ideas - that is not compromise.  It means Obama and Democrats taking a step back from the left, Republicans taking a step back from the right, and stopping the pendulum from swinging so hard.

Perhaps the scariest precipice of all?  Living free.  I think a friend of mine said it best - when it comes to social justice, there's a difference between giving a leg up and being the legs.

Censored Content xxx

Oppose SOPA/PIPA.  Tell your Senator.  Tell your Representative.

Stop using this "quote" by Thomas Jefferson

"The democracy will cease to exist when you take away from those who are willing to work and and give to those who would not."

This is not Thomas Jefferson's quote.  The earliest appearance of this statement was 1986.

However, he did say this:

To take from one, because it is thought that his own industry and that of his fathers has acquired too much, in order to spare to others, who, or whose fathers have not exercised equal industry and skill, is to violate arbitrarily the first principle of association, the guarantee to every one of a free exercise of his industry, & the fruits acquired by it. 

If we're going to do a movement right, let's start with not inserting words into our Founding Fathers' mouths.

OWS: "You may be passionate but it is not enough to resolve the crisis"

Some dude from the UK put it best, and I think every American should be embarrassed of this.  Education is the best start to figuring out a solution, not just protesting with a vague list of demands.  The wealthy know that the middle class and poor are dumb about money and the economy (and it's true).  Once we figure this out, we can have an intelligent conversation about this and find solutions.  In the meantime, I'm getting back to work. 

This is taken from the comments section of the article "Here's What the Wall Street Protesters Are So Angry About," in reference to a slew of charts depicting what the OWS are protesting (even though they don't really know it?) 

Jatin Luthia · Ealing, United Kingdom

Though the data is correct, the context of analysis is definitely incorrect. American labor has been winning compared to the rest of the world for a long time. The current disparity has largely risen from the fact that while capital has largely stayed in the US and labor has partially equalised over the rest of the world. Bear in mind though that wages in India and China are indeed less. With businesses getting more complex and global, CEOs are likely to get paid more (Though some amounts are obnoxious). It is businesses job to be competitive and make profits and it is labor's job to be competitive. If it is too costly to hire someone, economics will dictate that labor will move elsewhere. If wall street protests do make wall street dysfunctional, then capital will move away too and it will just be a double-whammy for labor as capital is a very competitive resource that US has especially as the Dollar holds out as a currency of choice. Such simplistic graphs and comments distort long-term economic realities and the result of years of trade and labour barriers followed by the developed world. Once the barriers started lifting, economic reality became different. I think more people need to understand economics than simply blame capital as capital has no direct social commitment. Its commitment to society is more indirect and derivative.

Reply ·  1 · Like · Follow Post · 15 hours ago

• Henry Harvey
  So what you're saying is that it's the job of business to be competitive and make profit, even if it means throwing out of work the people that live in the country where that business originated.
  
  
  The inherent unfairness in globalization is that a company can relocate whereas I can't realistically move my family to another country.
  
  
  I don't think one could be seen as opposed to capital per se if the wish is only to see a situation in which the people who manage corporations invest capital in the countries and the people who have helped them to get so rich and powerful.
  
  
  Much of the rage in the Occupy Wall Street movement comes from the realization that the multinational corporations and the financial institutions are selling us short, both literally and figuratively.
  Reply ·  1 · Like · 11 hours ago
  
  
  
• Jatin Luthia · Ealing, United Kingdom
  Henry Harvey Your comments are not economically driven. I am saying what incents each section of business. It is definitely the job of business to be competitive and make profits. Origination of business is very relative. Most American conglomerates earn more revenues overseas. How do you define "Origination"? Incorporation is not sufficient to define origination. You may be passionate but it is not enough to resolve the crisis. I think a matured response combining passion, economics and politics would be more useful. Otherwise, it may sound like irrational rabble-rousing and leave the US insular and lagging. The key to success of the US economy has been its adaptability.
  Reply · Like · 6 hours ago
  
  

Social Media, News, and my Shopping Habits

How about this for making news outlets flocking to social media:  I no longer get my first dose of news from a conventional journalist-type source, but from Facebook.

In the last month or so, I have found out on Facebook that:

1) Shaquille O'Neal is retiring.
2) Elizabeth Taylor and Michael Jackson died.
3) There was a tornado in MA, which hit very close to some of my family in CT.
4) The Vancouver Canucks won Game 1 of the Stanley Cup final.
5) A luxury candle company has a not-so-luxurious PR firm.

Okay, that last one just annoyed the heck out of me - I won a free candle on Facebook.  I've won a lot of other stuff online too (I got a free bottle of Clinique skin tone evener on Twitter) because I'm kind of a troll that way, but the candle did not come to me for over a month.  After speaking with the girl at the PR firm who handled it when the candle was two weeks late, still no candle by Memorial Day weekend - and I ended up copying the luxury candle company on my next email voicing my disappointment.  I got an email from who I assume was the PR firm manager overnighting the candle to me.  We'll see if it's on my doorstep for real by 3 p.m. today, but seriously?  Aren't PR firms paid not to do this crap?

ANYWAY.  The excitement in my life comes less from reading headlines and more from seeing what my friends are reporting.  I can of course get the details from other news outlets, of course, but even Shaq took to Twitter to report his big news, and you know CNN had some peons watching Twitter feeds to report anything that might be newsworthy.

Isn't it strange how slowly, surely, the media middleman is becoming a periphery to our source of gossip and news instead of the center?  I remember watching the 6 o'clock news every night with Peter Jennings when I was kid, right before Wheel of Fortune and Jeopardy! came on.  Even more so, my parents would probably recall how they found out about the Challenger explosion through the TV; even back in 2001 when 9/11 happened, I heard about it on the radio first.

But not today.  A measly 10 years after 9/11 and I no longer check CNN or BBC first; it's Facebook I go to catch up first, then review the news later.  Granted, the gossipy-type news usually is filtered first through social media, not the international news or conflicts that many Americans don't choose or care to follow, but then again I have a social circle that does extend beyond the U.S., and I end up finding things that might be popular overseas before anyone here even knows about it.  Amazing.

What else does social media bring me?  A freaking ton of coupons, that's what.  Any time I sign up for something, it's because I saw it on Facebook.  ShoeDazzle, Ideeli.com, Sephora, Bluefly... this targeted ad stuff is really quite scary.  I've been eying a dress for a few days and it kept coming up on every ad that I saw, no matter what website I'd go to.  Eventually I got a coupon in my email and was able to purchase the dress for another 30% off, but still... how do you put on blinders to this stuff?  At least we had an excuse to ignore billboards when we're driving down the thruway, but you can't avoid moving ads and audio clips when you're trying to read the news.

If you don't hear from me for another four months, just make sure I didn't get sucked into another ad vortex and am drowning in email special offers.  If you'll excuse me, I need to sign up for email notifications from the newest partnership between Groupon and Expedia.

Unionize, Privatize, Budgetize

Wisconsin schools call off classes as budget protests continue

You've seen this story before - maybe in a town near you.  It's been rampant the last few years, the public workers of this country beginning to feel the pinch of their states' budgets.  It's been felt acutely in states such as California and New York, but now Wisconsin is on the national media radar with several school systems canceling classes, anticipating that several teachers will protest a bill asking them to pay more towards their benefits and take away most of their collective bargaining rights.

I've never had the pleasure of working in the public sector before (there's a touch of sarcasm there), although the benefits are quite cushy and have been for some time.  Many workers both public and private enjoy the protection of unions, formed in order to protect the rights and prevent the abuse of workers.  Low-skill workers used to be taken advantage of by deplorable working conditions and low wages.

Today, the prevalence of low pay and dangerous work conditions are mitigated by the presence of unions, and while that's all and good, unions have now shifted their focus to securing adequate pay and benefits increases on a regular basis.  For government unions, this comes at the expense of the taxpayers, of which most are in the private sector and suffering their own conundrum of their employers reducing their benefits, but with no rights to picket.  (For private unions, they usually only have one choice - keep paying out the nose until they go bankrupt and EVERYONE loses their job.  Detroit is a good example of this.)

This perhaps is less about yet another picketing school system than more about what needs to be done, first starting at the national level and encouraging states to follow suit.  The bigwigs in Washington are going about this in the wrong direction:  By pushing more costs onto the taxpayer and borrowing money that doesn't exist, we are creating a hole from which our children and grandchildren may never escape.  In other words, the Big Government is trying to do this all on their own, instead of seeking out private companies to assist when budget cuts strike - programs for the elderly and disabled, for example.

I fear that more people will start looking upon unionized workers with scorn.  I think people have a fundamental right to living with enough income, but at the same time, why shouldn't they cough up a little more dough to cover their benefits?  Pay raises are great and should be given when deserved; but here I am, having been down the road where our benefits disappeared and had to pay for insurance entirely out of pocket, and  my income is slowly being cut, not raised.  And they're protesting that they need to help balance a budget that they are a part of?

No.  If we're going to get out of this mess, start protesting for something that makes sense.  Let's back up and look at how the private sector can help balance budgets.  Start finding organizations to supplement the after-school programs, programs for those with learning disabilities, and sports.  If teachers want the extra pay and full benefits coverage, then they need to see the bigger issue at hand:  Not that unions are being unfairly targeted, but that the government just doesn't know how to run itself, and that nothing short of a creative solution will have the most benefit.  

Here's some point by point commentary on the CNN article above:

• Today 24,500 students missed school because the Wisconsin Education Association Council asked people to "stand beside your neighbors, family and friends and help our voices be heard."  Well, that's just selfish now.  It's MY VOICE, I WANT TO BE HEARD.  Not everybody else.  Not everyone else who is suffering from budget cuts, JUST ME.  What kind of "collective bargaining" is that?!
• The deficit in Wisconsin is in the billions over the next two years.  Billions!  That's nine zeros to deal with!  How can we demand fiscal responsibility and expect states to operate on a budget (just like most average Americans do) without everyone feeling the pinch?  Call it a job hazard.  Don't protest and leave the students hanging; figure out how to use your unions to target irresponsible spending and find results that work, starting with finding legislators who will do such a thing, and vote for them.  More than ever we need properly educated children to compete against other first-world economies, and whether you like it or not, China is right there with us and owns most of our debt. 
• WI governor Scott Walker says he understands the legal protests, but wants "taxpayers of Wisconsin [to] have their chance to have their voices heard."  Bingo and bingo.  Peaceful protesting makes this country great, but if I'm paying for teachers' salaries and benefits, let's make sure the money is going to the right place.  That's my right as a taxpaying citizen.
• Okay, and now teachers have to pay more of their pension.  What is a pension and how can a self-employed businesswoman like me get in on that?  Oh, wait.  Never mind.  
• Pay raises limited to inflation - sensible, and again, living within their means.  Unless the government can get (legally) creative in balancing the budget, this is what it should be limited to for now.  
• At least they still have some collective bargaining rights.  If they were to completely do away with that (which I don't think is legally possible), then you'd see the entire state shut down.
• Bryan Kennedy, president of the AFT-Wisconsin, states that the bill is a "smokescreen" and that the debate is "not a financial issue.  It is about worker rights."  Uh, Mr. Kennedy, if you're on someone else's budget, then it is a financial issue.  You can't just set the education budget off to the side and let everyone else suffer the cuts.  If government refuses to resolve the problem by making sweeping changes to the way they do business, then everyone needs to take part of the fall.  
• A video of one union worker states that "If Wisconsin [collective bargaining] falls, so does the nation."  ORLY?  When did you get so damn important, since you won the Super Bowl?  (Just kidding.)  Seriously though, if setting a precedent is their concern, then set the right one.  Don't picket again and expect a different outcome.  Isn't that defined as insanity?
• Ah, and absent teachers this week would be docked pay if they didn't have a doctor's note.  Good for them. 
• A voice of reason:  Superintendent Daniel Nerad is asking Walker to re-bargain collective bargaining, but also acknowledging that their "no. 1 responsibility is to instruct students."  Yes, that's exactly what should be happening.  

Look, I understand we all need to live.  We all want and need something that our government can't provide us, and in this great country, we can usually find a way to get it.  It's not ever easy but in this day and age, we can do it.  That's why I wonder why we place so much power into the government, including our money, without pushing for some sensible resolutions to these shortfalls.  The private sector is dying for jobs and cash flow; private workers are poised to spend their money again if only they can get the job.  It's all there and we can't connect the damn dots!   And instead, the government insists on getting bigger to handle the problem when they don't have the tools to deal with it.

Well, we can hardly blame them; the majority voted in a democratic majority two years ago, and now we have a Republican majority in the House with a Democratic President and Senate, and bipartisanship is less chivalrous than traitorous.  We know that red and blue don't make purple, they make war.  

And while unions work to keep their workers safe and paid, who knows what will happen if people start to wonder why union workers keep getting their higher-than-normal benefits at the expense of corporations (private) or taxpayers (government)?  Could corporations simply lay off their workers and hire some other folks who agree not to join the union?  Of course they can.  There are people desperate enough out there for ANY job that they'd do it.  And if the government started thinking that way, they'd be able to find folks out of work who'd do anything - including a promise not to unionize - just to get that job. 

A Christmas Irony

While hunger is a very real problem in this country now (an estimated 1 out of 7 of us are on food stamps), I need to pick another bone with - who else - our eminent news source, CNN, about its choice of finding the right words, or in this case pictures, to accurately describe the situation of, well, anything.

In brief:  Don't use an overweight kid to describe starvation.  

But why?  Don't fat kids get hungry, too?  

Of course.  I'm not belittling the fact that while more of us are going hungry, there's even more of us with expanding waistlines, becoming the fattest nation on the planet.  Out of this abundance, we are still worried about our kids having enough to eat.  I must also point out that, perhaps, overweight kids are probably in more danger of being both fat and hungry at the same time, since cheap food is also quite fattening.  How easy is it to spend a few bucks off the Dollar Menu at McD's and feed your entire brood for less than ten bucks?  Yup, that easy.  When money is tight and you need to feed a lot of mouths, the options diminish quickly.

But most folks can't get past the meaning of the picture of a fat kid:  Fat equals full.  Skinny equals starved.  When you're coming down to advertising your product, as CNN must do like all other businesses, we are being presented with an irony, even if it may turn out to be true.  Fat kids in need of more food?  Isn't there something better out there than a stock photo of a child sitting in front of an empty plate, probably looking at the buffet just behind the camera crew?  

Social Media Nibbles Back, Spits Out

Remember how I closed my BofA account?  I wrote a semi-snarky letter and did my homework, copying the appropriate executives and feeling immensely satisfied about taking my drip in their wages out in one swipe.  Well, apparently it got someone's attention.

A peon from the CEO's office called me back and left a message on my phone.  I was curious now - someone had actually called me?  Amazing.  I wondered what they wanted.  I called them back at 4:35 p.m. on a business day; already gone for the day.  Left a message.  Peon called again the following morning while I was running errands.  I finally called him back again and got him in person, and here's what eventually transpired:

Peon:  "Mrs. LaDow, we received your correspondence and I am in the process of closing your account."

Me:  "Thanks."

Peon:  "There's just a few details we need to take care of.  When you closed your account, you did it five days into the new cycle.  Therefore, you accrued some interest on that balance, and you'll need to pay that balance before we close the account."

Me: "... Oh-kaaaay."

Peon:  "So if you just go ahead and do that, then we can take care of all this for you, all right?"

Me:  "Yeah, GREAT.  Thank youuuuuu."

Peon:  "Goodbye."  Click.

They think of all the details, don't they?  Accruing interest on a daily basis instead of a monthly basis is super convenient.  I bet he was sitting there in his satellite office somewhere in North Carolina, happy to get another several dozen dollars out of my pocket before bidding my business adieu.

At least they got the hint and spared me another sales pitch.  I'm sure they'd be able to find the transcription of my phone calls with them a few months ago when their "customer service" branch refused to work with my astronomical APR and thought I needed credit counseling.  Of course, once they transferred me to their choice of credit counseling services and the service found out about my spotless payment record and income, I wasn't approved for the service even if I had wanted it.

Yes, take a bite out of BofA if you can, but spit it back out.  Quickly.

Proofreading, An Ancient Art

Okay, okay.  No more caps lock.  But there really, truly has to be some college grad with a chip-head degree that can publish this without looking like:

Seriously.  Why is there a job shortage in this country when so many of the things we consume (yes, this includes online information) is wrong, doesn't work, or breaks on the second try?  Shouldn't there be a market for quality control somewhere?  Oh wait.  Yes, there used to be.  It's too expensive to maintain, I guess.  (Hence the reason why I'm starting to love Etsy and other individual proprietors:  They still have the ability to plan, design, make and check their work by hand.  Love and care in every step!)

Anyway.  You need a lot of hands in the process when gleaning national news, I understand.  Things won't go right all the time.  But every. single. day?  They're going too fast for their own good and driving me nuts in the process.  I used to be in this business, and I would have gotten demoted if our weekly newspaper had these kinds of errors in it week in, week out.  It's hard to take back a printed edition, yes.  That's an understatement.  However... isn't it just easier to do it right the first time around?  No one will notice if you take the extra 10 seconds to check your HTML code and your dictionary.  

The English version of al-Jazeera does better than this, CNN.  Get with the frickin' program.  

Proofreading, A Lost Art

What I can't figure out is why SI.com can't find a couple of good proofreading peons out of college to tell them the following:  

1.  Irks = To irritate or annoy.  Urks = Steve Urkel. 

2.  The word "attempt" once in a sentence will suffice, thanks.  

The fact that I have to refer to proofreading as an art disturbs me even more.  For the love of God, you "professionals!"  IT'S CALLED PROOFREADING AND/OR SPELL CHECK.  I hate going all Kanye on it, but seriously... urks?!  

Social Media Bites Back (Well, A Nibble)

When the going gets tough... you post it on your blog.  This is popular media as a vehicle for my meager (yet very real) complaints about what's wrong with the companies I am hopelessly tied to because of their business practices.


I like how I have to close my account in writing to some random office in Florida, too.  No addressing mail to a real human any more (well, unless of course you're part of the executive team, in which it goes to an assistant to the assistant to the BIP [Big Important Person] in their castle in North Carolina.)


If I get a response, I'll let you know.  In the meantime, a person with a "very good" credit score is not being screwed over by carnivorous, greedy shareholders and CEOs who kiss their butts to make them and their bottom lines happy every quarter.  As a drop in the BofA bucket, this is merely a cathartic way of expressing my displeasure instead a means to a specific end (hence why I did not ask for a lower APR, or wish them to burn in Hell, or any other ridiculous requests that one sees with angry letters).  Nope, taking my business elsewhere with a snarky letter left behind will do just fine, and whether they respond matters not to me.  *washing hands*


I have written to Bank of American thusly:

August 14, 2010

Rebecca L. LaDow

My Road

New York

Account Closure

FL1-300-02-07

4109 Gandy Blvd.

Tampa, FL 33611-3401

RE:  Account xxxx

Dear Account Closure:

I am writing to ask you to close the account referenced above, effective immediately.  You will be receiving a check for the full balance due. 

As a customer of Bank of America for greater than a decade (by extension first an MBNA customer), I am disappointed with how my APR has been handled over the years, especially since Bank of America acquired MBNA.  The income generated from the 19.98% APR applied to a five-figure debt is quite respectable for your bottom line, but for my household, we now choose not to support your business practices. 

Bank of America has a long way to earn any of my trust or business back.  Perhaps my influence is not as high as you’d care about, but I will not recommend Bank of America to my family, friends or children as they reach an age where they can open a line of credit. 

I hope Mr. Brian Moynihan will guide Bank of America into better business practices during times of famine without alienating the customer base.  To ensure that my voice is heard, I have copied the executives below on my correspondence, as well as placed this letter on my blog for my admittedly meager fan base. 

Unfortunately, I must continue my business with you through another line of credit I have open, which is now “dead” credit as the APR will double up to approximately 14% if I ever use it again. 

I wish you the best of luck in pleasing your shareholders, and hope that one day your customers’ satisfaction becomes a priority.

Sincerely,

Rebecca L. LaDow

cc:

Brian Moynihan, CEO

Charles Noski, CFO

Joe Price, President, Consumer, Small Business and Card Banking

ESL Credit Union


p.s.  I have enough crap in my life to worry about than working overtime to pay 20% of a debt to ANYONE.  In the meantime, LET'S DANCE:

"it takes control and slowly tears you apart"

CNN Needs Copywriters, Part 2

Grammar police?  Grammar Nazi?  I don't care what you think of me.  This is basic Grammar 101, people.  Peta is not a word.  PETA is an acronym and should be capitalized as such.  Peta vs. Pita?  That organization would probably love to be confused with a meatless food that is dipped in all types of vegan-friendly hummus and Baba Ghannouj.

When folks start seeing these mistakes on the front page of a "dependable" news source's website, it means it's okay for us little people too.  Details, shmetails!  YOU KNOW WHAT I MEANT, RIGHT?  (No, I don't.)

Finding typos should not be this easy (or fun).

CNN Needs Copywriters, Part 1

I find a typo every day on this damn site.  CNN, please get someone who knows the difference between by, buy and bye.  It's really not. that. hard.

Quick Hitters

We are in the middle of some record-breaking temperatures right now.  It was just our "luck" that we are now living in a house with no air conditioning, and we're trying to figure out creative ways to rotate the sticky air.  I wouldn't say this is without its benefits - for one thing, I'm not spastastically afraid of spiders any more.  Still afraid, but I can kill them without shrieking.  For another thing, it has forced me to become closer to nature by using some of her cooling methods rather than my own, which is of course cheaper and somewhat greener, though we are using several fans 24/7 to cool the house at night.  We've also been trying to push the cold air from the basement and garage up to the living room/office area, which presents quite the challenge with a 1-year-old toddler who loves to climb stairs.

Anyway, between this heat and working on a hot laptop in the unbearable afternoons, I haven't wanted to sit and type more.  It's 10 p.m. and 79 degrees outside.  However, I will give you some quick hitters that have been bouncing around in my head for a while - some guilty pleasures, some not so guilty:

• Raise your hand if you're happy not to read about LiLo's crack tweets for the next 180 days while she's in jail/rehab.  Did you see that she manicured the phrase "f*** you" on both her middle fingernails?  Someone snapped the photos while she was at her hearing and being sentenced.  Judge Marsha Revel's no-nonsense haircut and pursed Mom lips dished a "f*** you too" right back to her.  
• Who else said "Praise God!" when that little 4-year-old girl who was found alive after being kidnapped from her front yard in Missouri?  You almost never see it end that way.  Unfortunately, the person of interest in the case shot himself when approached by police.  The mystery may never be solved, but a family and community is rejoicing tonight. 
• Speaking of other celebrities I want to go away:  LeBron.  Seriously.  SI.com has a LEBRON WATCH going right now.  Kind of like the tornado warning that hit my hometown last weekend, only a lot more annoying and no one caring.  Check off another reason why I avoid anything that has to do with the NBA like the plague.
• Super bummed about the Steelers' season already.  Big Ben = Big Butthead, and now Willie Colon and Limas Sweed are both out for season with Achilles tendon injuries.  Better than Randle El will be there to fill in as WR.  
• The Pirates are just a laughingstock right now.  I think the media cares about them as much as they care about my husband taking the trash out.  At least our trash doesn't stink as much as the Buccos.  PNC Park is just a beautiful ball park - no bad seat in the house.  Shameful.
• Continuing on Pittsburgh's professional teams:  Kind of like what the Pens did during free agency.  The loss of Gonchar was a bummer, but as a friend pointed out to me, his leadership skills were great - his defensive skills, not so much.  He was also injured way too much.  Pens put a ton of money into the defense and I hope it works out. 
• Where else other than Facebook can you have a conversation with buddies across the nation about The Goonies and dry shampoo in 24 hours?    
• Ju$t found out why we only get profe$$ional photo$ done every five year$ or $o.  

Time to rock out to some Gaga remixes and catching up on my celeb gossip.  Good night, dear readers.

To breathe: What were you doing at 25?

Today CNN featured an article about a 25-year-old Canadian woman who had cystic fibrosis and blogged about the entire experience, even up until two days before her death on March 27.

The article opens the headline "Death at 25:  Blogging the end of a life."  That's why I initially clicked on the link.  But then when the page loads, there is a photo of a beautiful, young woman lying in a hospital bed, a breathing tube wrapped under her nose and around her ears, a slight smile on her lips, her eyes radiating love and exhaustion.  Her name is Eva.

I scanned the article and found the blog, called 65 Red Roses.  It was named such because when she was first diagnosed, she could not pronounce cystic fibrosis, and instead pronounced it more like "65 red roses."  It is colorful.  It has hearts.  There is a lot of red. Pictures of Eva and her family and friends love, love, loving, the breathing tube a constant companion.  She takes pictures of herself in all sorts of stages of life, of sickness:  Joy. Exhaustion.  Friends.  Nausea.  Mom.  Despair.  Boyfriend.  Kisses.  Style.  It makes you catch your breath.

I went through a few entries and found a video of a speech she gave for the Toronto Gala, which she recorded because she could not do it in person.  She tells of her struggles with the breath, sickness, and her adventures in love and hope.  And she tells her viewers of that epitome of hope:  A double lung transplant, hope rising out of another's tragedy, life and death holding hands, one not existing without the other.  She tells of walking up steps.  Road trips.  Falling in love.  Dancing.  And in the next breath:  Her body is in chronic rejection.  Her body is rejecting the new lungs.

Now, why would I be sharing this story with you?  I don't have cystic fibrosis.  I don't think I know anyone who does.  But I do know someone who struggled with breath.  I do know someone whose lungs were chronically rejected at the end of life.  I remember a man who loved his wife and his children, and for my entire life I remember not the sound of his voice, but his wheezing.  His puffers.  The assumption of chronic asthma.  I remember his salt-and-pepper stubble and his three-word sentences between breaths.  I remember Christmastime when someone in the family received a play microphone, and watching him hold it (was it a photo I saw?) and knowing he couldn't pretend to sing a ballad into it.  And in a cold, dark winter in 1993 when there was only hope left, my grandfather's body rejected his new lung, and I can still remember my father's car in the driveway, home from work early when I came home from school on December 3, knowing that my grandfather was gone.  I was 12.  He was (just shy of?) 60.

These are the details I remember.  Some of them may be hazy.  I remember watching my mother lose her father from a genetic disease and tears.  My grandmother's exhaustion at caring for him for over a decade, years spent in San Antonio living near the hospital where they would do the transplant, if or when the lung came for him.  I remember seeing him lie in his coffin, not breathing but at such ease.  Grandma looking at him and seeing peace, not death.  I cried in ragged breaths when the Catholic church cantor sang of him flying like an eagle, rising again.  I remember the wake at my grandmother's house, hushed, lots of food, TV on in the living room where Grandpa's recliner might have been.  Perhaps bowling was on that day. Could have been football.  And relief.  Relief, relief, relief.  Everyone took a huge sigh of relief.

So, when I watched Eva confess to Toronto that her body had rejected her lungs, I cried horribly again, just like I did at my grandfather's funeral.  I remember the sound of air being sucked into lungs that refused to work correctly, the body trying to force the air out, exhausted from every effort just to live.  What killed my grandfather was not cystic fibrosis, but a disease called alpha-1 antitrypsin deficiency, which basically destroys the elasticity in your lungs.  Your lungs expand and shrink with every breath, but with alpha-1, your lungs expand, expand, expand.  You wheeze, you cough, you gasp.  Every breath is abnormal.

After that day, when I took my driver's test and passed, I checked the organ donor box.  So did my husband.  Eva asked that of her following.  I knew I had to after watching a stranger's generosity in death give some life back to my grandpa, even if it was for a little while.  I remember a picture of him, white dressing gown, white compression stockings, holding a white teddy bear after the surgery, waving and smiling.  I imagine snow-white breath flowing in his new lungs, if only for a short time.

My parents were tested for alpha-1.  My father is not a carrier.  My mother is.  This means that my sisters, brother and I will not get alpha-1, but some of us may be a carrier.  One day when I can afford it, I will get tested for alpha-1.  If I am not a carrier, then my husband won't need to be tested; my kids are safe.  If I am positive, my husband will need to be tested.  Some days I wonder, wonder, wonder.

To answer my own question:  At 25, I was married, a mother to a daughter, and working as a project manager in Rochester NY.  My husband and I were on the verge of a move to California, an adventure with risks, questions and no map.  I was violently ill from the anxiety.  I dropped 20 lb. that summer.  My mother and sister came to pack my entire kitchen the night before the movers came.  In a moment of anxiety, my memory sharpened, smells remembered, songs on my iPod that play to this day and whip me back to that moment.  I was living.  I lived.

In yoga we are taught to mind our breath.  The practice revolves around, depends on the breath.  To open, to shine, to fill yourself up, to enable your body and mind to practice.  The breath follows the muscles' movement:  In to expand, out to contract.  When I labored with my daughter Sela last year, my husband driving 80 mph down the highway to get to the midwife clinic in time, I turned up the Red Hot Chili Peppers and let my breath in and out wild, groaning, screaming from the pressure, feeling the warm Sunday morning air whip through the car.  I was living.  My baby was living.  I lived.

Do you realize how much your life is centered around breath?  When we do not mind our essence of living, we neglect to mind that which can kill us.  I read about Eva's life centered around breath.  Her struggles with cystic fibrosis and my grandfather's struggles with alpha-1 embraced breath, no matter how hard it was to suck in one more liter of oxygen.  While my practice in yoga is a choice, theirs was necessity.  A disease pulled them into their very cores of their lives, of their bodies, and forced them to be aware of every breath, every cage-rattling, painful, wheezing, drowning breath, forcing them to examine every detail of it.  It is what yoga asks of the yogini, to examine every detail of the breath  in connection with the body, to realize that they are not separate but one, breath and movement locked together, one not existing without the other.

And so it is with life and death.  If we live, we die, and yet we cannot die if we do not live.  I imagine Eva and my grandfather, beautiful souls intact, dancing and singing, perhaps raising their hands in the air, saying Lord let's fly, leave unto the Earth what belongs to the Earth and take all that belongs to you.

Today when you pray, or when you approach your mat, or when you are discovering positive energies, remember these two people.  Pray for them.  Dedicate your practice.  Do what you do to mind your breath and your life force in memory of them who so painfully did the same.

Eva Dien Brine Markvoort
James DaValle

Edited at 5:29 p.m.:  One of Eva's friends featured in the documentary "65 Red Roses", based on Eva's fight against cystic fibrosis, is a woman named Kina who lives in Girard, PA, just down the road from where I was born and raised.  Many of my family, classmates and friends from that area know Girard well.

Dr. Nonflow, Urologist

Dear readers - It's been a very long while since I posted, and I do apologize.  You've all been hanging in there with me and I hope to let the writing bug drive me to the computer more often.  Between sickness, Easter and more life-changing events in our household, I've been neglecting the more fun things in life!

Now, on topic:  This is why social media is a benefit, especially when presented on the Internet.  I found this link through a Facebook friend who is also an MT, and when I say I laughed 'til I cried, it means that you should get thyself a potty break before reading.  

Horse on a Mattress is the medical transcriptionist's answer to Cake Wrecks or Regretsy.  Sometimes in speech recognition software, you get a lot of nonsense that the MT has to edit and fix to match the dictation.  But sometimes you get some kick-ass doctor's names, among other bloopers.  Read and enjoy!

What do you want to hear?

Good morning, dear readers!  I have a nine-hour work day ahead of me, so alas, I must be brief.  But what I found while ambling along my normal news outlets (yes, even someone like me writing about current affairs gets stuck in a rut... stuck in a rut... stuck in a rut) made me pretty darn upset, and I must share with you before typing the day away.

U.S. figure skating Olympian Johnny Weir was mocked by some French-Canadian announcers during his short routine in Vancouver, saying that he might have "lost points due to his costume and body language," suggesting he should take a gender test, and also suggesting he should compete in the women's competition.  They go so far to suggest that his demeanor sets a bad example to other male skaters and that they'll "end up like him."  They later issued an apology.

These comments are bad enough from a pair of national announcers broadcasting to the entire world, but what enraged me were the quotes from Johnny's response that CNN and People.com decided to publish.

I first read about the controversy at Celebitchy, which is one of my favorite gossip blogs - they write smart, they're witty, and they're not nasty and defacing pictures with grade-school MSPaint like Perez Hilton does.  The comments that Celebitchy published were taken from Entertainment Weekly, and Johnny was quite gracious in his response to the "jokes."  He didn't even ask for an apology or for their firings and says he believes in free speech.  The quotes used on the gossip blog showed him to be a well-spoken man.

However.  I opened CNN.com today and saw the headline:  "Skater responds to mockery."  Hey, CNN picked it up a day later!  I opened it up and started reading, and was sorely disappointed in the quotes that CNN chose to take from People.com's article.  In addition, the hyperlink provided to the original article was broken, and that just ticks me off - a lack of attention to detail on a national news outlet.  It's just as bad as misspelling something on the front page, which CNN does quite often, I might add.  But here's the quote that finishes off the article:

"It wasn't these two men criticizing my skating, it was them criticizing me as a person, and that was something that really, frankly, pissed me off," Weir told reporters. "Nobody knows me. ... I think masculinity is what you believe it to be."

Doesn't he sound like a whiny kid now?  What gives?  Sure, we've all heard the nickname "Johnny Weird" for his flamboyant style and Lady Gaga gestures, but he's also a fine skater and a decent human being, and what was quoted might lead you to believe that he's calling for those broadcasters' careers on a shiny, fabulous silver platter.  All I know is, the man handled himself just fine, and taking two quotes from the press conference shed two very different lights on him.

In my job as a medical transcription, one of the best pieces of advice was to question.  Question what you are hearing.  Listen to it again and again and be sure you are typing what the doctor is saying.  If he's saying something that doesn't make sense, research the heck out of it and alert medical records if there is an inconsistency.  If a doctor puts in an order for a surgical note but starts dictating a consultation, I don't format it as a surgical note - I would format it as a consultation.

This is probably the best advice I could give the general public about approaching what they read and see in the media.  Question.  Question it from all angles before passing judgment - or even if you pass judgment at all.  Don't assume you know something just because they wore a pink tassel on a skating costume and assume they're hermaphrodites (which, incidentally, Lady Gaga was also accused of "tucking," to which she wouldn't even deign a response to that rumor. Good for her.)  It's these little jokes that start as a drop in the pond, but grow to bigger waves as they pass through the general population in so many ways... what if a kid listened to those announcers and thought it was funny to question someone's gender every time they didn't fit society's definition of a male or female?  Even though they thought it was funny, they should have saved it for the comedy club open-mic night, if at all.

One-dimensional musings

On the cusp of another snowstorm (that's four inches of snow down here in Canonsburg - I know you Erie folks are giggling about it, as do I, but there really is a lot of snow here that they don't know where to put because of the mountainous hills), I've realized that it's been a month since I last blogged.  That's breaking the cardinal rule of blogging:  Blog on a regular basis.  Keeping it up.  Keeping it fresh.

Yet every time I think about it, I think the media has burned me out.  I've been constantly listening to family, friends and the media complain about the state of this country, why Republicans are crazy, why Democrats are socialist nutjobs, and quite frankly, I've become tired of it.  Maybe not tired:  It's a word that my younger readers would appreciate, and that is "meh."  I like me a good drama in the news, but ever since Obama was elected, the shouting on both sides of the American political spectrum is louder than ever, and no one seems interested in getting anything done except firmly planting the blame of the state of the American economy on the shoulders of either political party.

With full disclosure, both my husband and I are independents.  We made that decision after moving back from the West Coast, with me doubting every potential Presidential candidate who stepped up to a podium in front of the media.  We are finding that both left and right "ideals" are often contradictory, selfish, and downright unhealthy for a decent political debate.  We often had the best debates about politics with a dear friend of ours, who is Canadian and knows truly what socialism is, after he'd been traveling the globe.  Disenchanted with Cheney and Big Oil, angry with manipulative unions, watching the debt ceiling raised higher than ever, and pretty faces (Palin) blurring partisan shortcomings, I threw my hands up in the air and suggested to Spence that we leave both parties and let them figure out how to get our votes.  It was the only way I could think of to demonstrate my displeasure with the Left and Right political discourses.

As it is, American politics are sorely one-dimensional:  Do you swing left or right?  Blue or red?  Conservative or liberal?  To which I started asking back:  Are politics only meant for swinging between two points, one single line?  I really don't care that the Independents don't have many promising candidates:  Running on an Independent platform is what I like to call slippery dipping:  You can pick and choose your values, and yet in putting together your political agenda, leaving yourself to the mercy of a media who likes to paint you "more conservative" or "more liberal," perhaps to translate your oddities to an American public who only know the way forward is to go left or right.

Does it seem like a political dead end?  Does it seem too much for a person who wants to step outside The Line, to explain to others that it's okay to be pro-life and demand equal pay for women in similar job positions?  Is it okay to be a member of the NRA and endorse affordable health care?  Can rich people endorse welfare?  Can poor people endorse lower taxes for the businesses?

If rich people understood that there are people in society who truly need the help of the village, as it were, to survive, then they'd be more amenable to paying more taxes into a welfare system that helps the elderly, disabled and hungry, while at the same time finds the freeloaders and stops supporting them.

If poor people understood that businesses create jobs, they would understand that lower taxes for businesses will help their businesses grow and keep more jobs in the United States.

If women and men understood that fertility is an equal responsibility between them, then it would be easier for men and women to support equal pay for equal work.

If understanding that the reason we are not physically invaded by a country is because, on average, every man and woman in this country has at least one firearm in their home, then we understand that basic health care is a right, not a privilege:  Basic rights of self-defense of our country should include basic rights of self-defense of our bodies, whether we have chronic or acute conditions.  (Whether you endorse a public option or shopping across state lines for health insurance is a completely different conversation, however.)

And that, dear readers, is only a few of the many reasons why I can't read a newspaper, online or otherwise, without my eyes crossing and my soul delving into a deep state of indifference.  Politicians are afraid of "reaching across the aisle" without thinking about their competitors accusing them of waffling in the next election, so they hold fast to a single line between two points.  The dominant parties are in a state of turmoil, what with Obama's favorable ratings plummeting to Earth and the loss of Mr. Kennedy's Lion Seat to a Republican, and with Palin a Presidential hopeful in 2012 while endorsing a Tea Party with no clear agenda and fractured factions.  Less voters are asking important questions about how the government as a whole will help them, and instead asking for their piece of the pie, and perhaps it is in this way we are led to a government stuffed and obese with pork and special interests.

Perhaps - and this is a theory - it is not so much the politicians' fault for trying to grab federal funds, but our own.  Perhaps our indifference to letting the same people try to steer this country is the reason why no one can agree on Capitol Hill.  Perhaps it is us, the People, the voters, who need to find their voices again and appoint better people to find that middle ground that could make this country even greater.  Politics don't have to be complicated, you know.  Don't let anyone tell you that you're committing heresy by changing your party affiliation as much as you like.  In fact, the idea that anyone would accuse me of a grave religious sin based on my party affiliation is insulting:  I should be able to move freely between political parties, because my God doesn't swing left or right.  Voicing your political distaste doesn't have to start and end with your vote, as I have so aptly learned:  the Independent vote is just starting to become a bigger slice of the pie, and I'm willing to let the politicians figure out just how to earn that vote.

Edited at 10:08 p.m.: CNN is reporting that yet "another" centrist Democrat will not seek re-election due to his disgruntlement with Congress, left bloggers and partisanship. There are five open seats for Dems and six open seats for Republicans for the upcoming November elections.

Edited at 10:15 p.m.:  Just noticed the homepage title of the above-quoted article reads thusly:  "Too tough for a centrist?  Bayh retiring".  You betcha.  Instead of being favorably described as bipartisan or compromising, centrists are frequently viewed as weak, waffling and/or floaters in the unforgiving political arena.  The most liberal and conservative wings of each party should tread lightly - if this kind of walk-out continues, what will the fractioning of the two dominant parties do to American politics?

Socially Acceptable Programs?

There's a Facebook group (isn't there one for everything?) that is titled thusly:  "Making Drug Tests required to Get Welfare (their capitalization, not mine).  I briefly read the wall for this group, noting that several military brass said "yes" to drug testing as they are required to get tested to serve the country; that women asked birth control be prescribed alongside with it and teaching women to stop having kids they can't support; and men who suggested varying opinions from "get rid of welfare" to requiring folks to get entry-level jobs before the government will support them.

I sat back and thought about this for a bit between my daughter's requests to helping her complete a level in a Spongebob Wii game and my infant daughter's babbles while barrel-rolling on the carpet.  I think about the time a woman told me her humiliation in accepting welfare for a handful of months after finding out she was pregnant, and until her husband worked enough hours and overtime to build up some savings and put food on the table.  I think about where I would be if my husband died tomorrow - a too-large townhouse with only a part-time job, two daughters to raise and a broken life to rebuild.  I think about where my husband would be if I died tomorrow - a too-large townhouse with a full-time career, two daughters to raise and place in daycare, and a broken life to rebuild.

Is there any way to truly know how many people abuse the system?  It's hard to say.  We Americans dally back and forth between wanting to do what's right and punishing those who take advantage of it.  It burns us to know that our taxes go into a system that isn't foolproof, that moms addicted to crack are getting pregnant with crack babies and using our money to buy drugs.  That's the picture in your head, right?  When you think of welfare, you think of a drug-addled mother carelessly letting her children go hungry and lie around in her filthy, dank apartment while she snorts a few lines.  You think of unmarried women at local government offices, standing in impossibly long lines with their unruly children waiting for their monthly handouts.  Isn't that sad that it's the only picture of welfare that we (assume to) know?

You know, I am frustrated by the fact that there are women probably out there (and it's mostly women) living off my taxes so they can have lots of material goods, knowing they get more if the birth more.  But I don't think it's the majority.  We are concerned about filtering out the few who exploit the system instead of figuring out how to get these folks on their feet again.  Welfare has become less of a crutch and more of an income; this is not right.  Social Security has gone the same way; in a day when it was meant for paying for milk and bread, it is now becoming the sole income for our retiring class.  Going on disability has gone the same way; instead of helping folks until they are healed, people turn to it for their long-term livelihood.

And that, dear readers, is where I am angry with these social programs.  Not for the drug-addicted mothers who need our help getting off the drugs and into a productive life of their own; it's because more and more people are looking to social programs to fund their lives entirely, without bothering to look at the future and envision themselves on their own.  This is not the American dream.  Welfare and Social Security should be to cover the "what-if's" in your life:  What if my spouse died tomorrow?  What if I lost my job tomorrow?  What if my house burned down tomorrow?  What if I got hurt while working (and not that "I kind of pulled the muscles in my back" bull - the type where you destroy discs in your back or lose some kind of appendage or your sight)?  Then you can relax and say:  The government will help me get back on my feet.  They will be there to help find my way back.  Not "the government owes me this."  Not "the government should have to pay for everything."  Not "I'm hurt enough that it pinches a little when I move; my workplace hurt me and the government should pay for it."

Ironically, I believe we perpetrate the lower classes by allowing this to happen.  What's the saying about teaching a man to fish?  Instead of providing those chronically on social programs with more and more money, let's start teaching them to navigate their way to self-sustainment.  Don't throw greenbacks at the problem and let it leak all over the place.  We shouldn't even be having this conversation about kicking drug addicts off welfare.  They do need the help, after all.  They know better but can't find their way out.  Don't fund their houses and addictions just so they have the sorriest-looking thing that they call a livelihood until kingdom come.  Let's get people to be productive parts of society and not just strung out along for the ride (no pun intended).

Now, I know there are exceptions.  There are people who will need help the rest of their lives.  There are people who are so disabled that there is no hope of recovery.  But is it the majority?  No.  This is why social programs exist:  Because people who truly need the help will have it when they need it.  I have two autistic cousins who are blossoming under the diligent work of their parents and the social programs they are a part of to become productive once they are adults.  They are extremely bright, energetic and going to school.  Maybe someday they will crunch numbers alongside the smartest engineers or impress professors at a prestigious art academy.  But for now, the social programs are there to help lay the groundwork alongside the parents, and it's the way it should be:  Attentive parents who need help understanding a condition their children have in order to make them the very best they can be.  Building to their strengths.  Helping them understand shortcomings and how to get around them.

And really, isn't that part of the American existence?  We're not so different from autistic children, people dealing with chronic back pain from a work injury or young widows with children to support.  Social programs should be there to help them re-center, build their strengths and get around their shortcomings in tragic life-changing events... finding a way to get back on their feet.  We're not all superheroes in the face of adversity, but we're not all damsels in distress, either.

What a Decade

I know most of you are probably sick of the whole "let's reminisce about the good ol' days" recaps about the last 10 years already, and it's probably because they were pretty damn depressing. Let's admit it: There's been a lot to be sad about these past 10 years, starting with the whole world ending when the clock struck 2000 (it didn't, obviously) and ending with a war and a recession.

But I think these past 10 years were probably the most exciting for me yet. I'll have to count the life-changing events in there because there were so many. Tuck in for some reminiscing and allow me to take you through the last 10 years of my life:

1999: I graduated from high school in May and attended college at Penn State Behrend, and starting working at Wegmans (I will always have fond memories). Is this when Spence wrecked his first car? We take our annual family trip to Maine.

2000: Spence graduates from high school and decides to attend RIT in Rochester. He proposed to me that summer and I accepted. It was the beginning of a three-year long-distance engagement, and particularly depressing for the first few weeks. Spence drives his Relient K home to Erie every few weeks to visit. Our first OBX vacation. I get a tattoo and hide it from my parents for about a month.

2001: September 11. I will always remember this year, as will most Americans. Is this when the Relient K dies and Spence has to learn how to drive an '87 ('84?) Corvette in the snow? He teaches me how to drive it, the first standard I'll ever learn to drive. I start learning the layout of Rochester, NY and meet his roomie, Greg and friend Terry from work.

2002: At first, I can't remember a darn thing that happened this year, but then I remember - school is in full swing. I was elected president of Behrend's chapter of APO for both semesters in 2002. Promoted to managing editor for The Beacon. I'm a Schreyer Honors scholar and start my thesis work in the fall. Another OBX vacation. I turn 21 and get my belly button pierced and party. Spence starts a full-time job and school full-time.

2003: Pass thesis defense. I graduate from college. Spence and I marry in July, and we move to Rochester. After a fantastic honeymoon, I am not happy to leave Erie and have to adjust to living away from home for the very first time. Over Thanksgiving break, we buy two cats who are litter mates - Wesley and Buttercup. Our first apartment, a 750 sq. ft. one-bedroom flat, cuddles us in nicely. I work two jobs - Wegmans and the beverage cart chick at a local country club - and then land a job as a project manager at Element K.

2004: I find out on September 11 that I'm pregnant. I spend the rest of the year trying not to puke. One look at our one-bedroom flat and it's time to ask friends and family to move us into a two-bedroom townhouse down the street. With many tears, sweat and curse words, we serve free pizza and beer to those who moved a king-size mattress and solid oak bed set up our narrow stairway. Another OBX vacation in the summer.

2005: The words "starting a business" and "California" escape Spencer's lips when I'm eight months pregnant, and I cry at the thought of moving so far away from family. Rachel Anna makes her debut on May 17 after over 33 hours of labor (three hours of pushing) and the summer is bright, hot and spent on maternity leave, recuperating by walking up and down Lilac Drive every morning. Spencer graduates five days after her birth, on my birthday. OBX vacation.

2006: "Starting a business" and "California" are a reality. Spence leaves for California in May while I pack and wrap up our life in Rochester for a new endeavor on the West Coast. I lose the rest of my baby weight (20 lb.) during this time and remember sobbing as I left my mom and sisters in the Buffalo airport. California welcomes me in August with endless blue skies and seeing my husband for the first time in 10 weeks. I begin my own transcription business with the help of my aunt as a transcription apprentice. OBX, Florida and Maine that summer, but without Spence. We cook our first Thanksgiving dinner by ourselves. Weekly webcam nights begin. I join Facebook and MySpace.

2007: Life in California becomes habit. Spence works nonstop to keep a roof over us. Rachel and I spend the time exploring Sunnyvale. Spence, Rach and I spend Saturdays exploring the coast, getting lunch and enjoying San Francisco, Monterey Bay, Half Moon Bay and the Pacific Ocean. I get my nose pierced. My mom comes to visit around Easter, and then the rest of my family come in July to see the West Coast. I fly home in August for baby showers, parties, friends and family. We come home for Christmas. The economy crashes and the housing bubble blows. The business is on its last legs.

2008: The New Year brings new decisions - Spence decides it is time to move back East and start exploring other business avenues. Spence leaves to start his job on April 1. Mom comes to California one last time to help me pack. We hire movers this time around to carry our boxes and unload for us in Pennsylvania, in a quiet town south of Pittsburgh, in a three-bedroom townhouse. Cindy gets married. Elizabeth gets married. I get pregnant again and spend the rest of the year trying not to puke. We start to pay off debt from the business venture. OBX vacation.

2009: I get another job doing medical transcription. The country elects a black man as President. Tim gets married. Sela Chloe is born with flying colors (that's a gross pun) in a mere four hours of labor. The day is bright, hot and spent cuddling in a quiet birthing facility in downtown Pittsburgh. Family comes to celebrate I sleep in my own bed that night and shower in my own bathroom in the morning. We miss OBX. Sela gets colic. Rachel starts preschool. Sara starts driving.

I think I have more than enough to be thankful for as this decade begins to wind down. I count 15 life-changing events in this decade (one marriage, two graduations, four moves, two kids, three job changes for me, three job changes for him).

If you look online, the past decade is full of unfulfilled dreams, unpaid bills, a war and a warmer climate. You'll probably find something different, though, if you look in your heart. What was your decade like? How do you want your next decade to look? Me? I hope the next decade looks just as good as this past one.