Well, the secrets are all the same, and until recently they resided quite privately in the wife's personal bank account. Until the bank called the husband and suggested that he move the money to a different account.
Here's the back story: A wife had $800,000 that was not earned during the marriage, and kept it in a bank account in her name only. Since the money wasn't earned during the marriage, it is not considered marital property. She decided to keep the money a secret from her husband, who apparently had spending problems. Well, the bank called their residence, and spoke to the husband about this sum of money and suggested he move it to a different account. The wife is now suing the bank for disclosing that information to someone whose name was not on the account, and claims she paid her husband $155,000 to keep the marriage intact and reestablish marital bliss in the home. She is suing the bank for this amount that she paid her husband for their (illegal) disclosure.
The link above provides two viewpoints: the gentleman on CNN says that it was wrong for the wife to keep such a huge secret. The lady says that it's the woman's business since the money was earned outside the marriage, and the bank did break the rules. They both agree on the legal aspects of the issue (i.e., it's the woman's money only) but then argue about the disclosure of the money between them.
We do not know where the money came from, just that it came from before they were married. Two women called into the CNN show and defended the wife's actions. Unfortunately, no men called in to weigh their opinion on the matter.
I have a few thoughts on this matter, of course. One is that I think it's interesting the man got in a huff that this now-rich wife, who apparently has the upper hand in the financial aspects of the marriage, did not disclose her financial status. He doesn't even change his mind when we find out that the husband has a history of spending problems. Look: For whatever reason they got married, I bet she had a good reason to keep her stash to herself.
Let's say that the money was from her own personal business earnings. Perhaps it was a life insurance policy. Or an inheritance. Whatever it is. If you were dating around and had this huge amount of cash on hand, would you really want that person to know about your financial statements? Personally, if I were in that position, I'd rather men think that I'm a poor typist than someone who has plenty of disposable cash on hand. It's mean, but I think I'd keep lots of secrets about my life until I knew I could trust them and they weren't hounding for a booty call or some of my money. Money talks, even if it's not yours.
My second thought is that there is a disparity in this country about who has the financial upper hand in a marriage. Most of the time, in married situations, the woman does earn less, or stays at home. She has her own responsibilities in the marriage. And oftentimes, people get the impression that if a woman earns the household moola or has more assets to her name than the husband, there's something wrong with the guy: He's lazy. He's a mama's boy. He has no ambition. He's a loser. He's not man enough. The concrete reasons are murky, and the discrimination blunt and unfair, but the name-calling remains.
I think this guy from CNN felt indirectly threatened by the wife's financial power, and maybe even a little offended that she'd keep a secret like that, even though I think her reasons are completely justified: The wife had to PAY OFF THE HUSBAND to maintain marital peace after the money was discovered. Doesn't that explain something to us? If the husband found out, he shouldn't be demanding his wife's money. Maybe he has the privilege to demand why she hid it, or where she got it, but the wife knew the only way he'd shut up was to get 155k. I bet you that money has already been spent by the husband.
I'd like to shake this woman's hand. Good for her that she kept her property separate from this jerk. It sounds like she had a good reason (or 800k of them) too. I know that keeping secrets, at least in the Christian marriage tradition, is frowned upon and shouldn't be done. But the reasons she married the guy and kept the money secret are her own decisions, and considering she had this huge lump sum of money that she was SAVING, not spending, probably reflects her financial responsibility better than the husband's likely squirrely spending habits. And even if she wanted to spend that money to create more income for herself, that additional income may have been considered marital property, and could have created even more of a mess.
She wasn't pilfering any of the marital property for her own gain. Sounds like the husband got away with that, though.
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