February D.U.H.: The Modern Day SpongeBob

Pensioner gears up for 772nd driving test

I thought taking my SATs twice was a failure.  

A No-Panty Line D.U.H.

Weekends are usually slow news days, so imagine my surprise when I crawled out of bed this morning (look up SpongeBob Squarepants' episode on "Suds," and you'll know exactly how I felt) and saw this.

I've played softball before, and I'm quite familiar with baseball's ongoing fascination with superstition, but this... this?! Sharing a gold thong to break out of a hitting streak? Please Lord, tell me it's a rumor. Please.

Leap Year D.U.H.

Either CNN is having a slow news day, or they just are too lazy to make a decent headline that doesn't shove down our throats what we already are dreading. C'mon, it's Friday! Give us an incentive to click on those links.

Bush: We're in a slowdown
Bush on $4 gas: I hadn't heard that (this was the headline on the front page of CNN.com yesterday)

I don't know how clearer it can get: we KNOW the economy's in trouble. I don't bat an eye when I pay $3.50 a gallon for gas. My parents sigh heavily every time they look at their portfolio. But instead of publishing this kind of gloom and doom for the masses, how about reading this instead?

Glenn Beck: Don't follow the herd on economy

When it comes to American news outlets, I find that you have to wade through the muck before getting to the good stuff. Enjoy and happy Friday/Leap Year, folks!

Saturday D.U.H.

Woman says being dead ruins life

"Baby... you ain't kidding." -Bill (Kill Bill Vol. 2)

February D.U.H.

Hovering parents need to step back at college time
Don't try to invest like the pros
Hamilton saddened by abuse (what, is he supposed to be happy?)
United to start charging for second bag (this just makes me mad)
Jamie Lynn ready to run away from Lynne

A Frozen D.U.H.

It's freezing across the country (yes, even here in glorious California, where the temps are in the 30s at night and making people scurry for their parkas), so check out the brain freeze headlines I found:

Mysterious reptile deaths puzzle scientists
Amy Winehouse enters rehab
Parents crashing online party
Newspaper Web sites draw record viewers
It's official: mail is slow as snails
Too cold to walk for car thieves

P.S. To my fellow readership in PA and NY, don't worry. I don't think it's cold in California. (You've not felt cold until your tears freeze in wind chill...)

New Year D.U.H.

'Subprime' named Word of the Year
Spears loses custody of children
Cell phone users slow traffic, study finds

Spell it like Fergie: D.U.H.

Welcome readers - as is with every Christmas season, I've very nearly lost my head trying to get it all together. As my little family unit celebrates our Christmas the weekend before trekking back to the East Coast for the holidays, I have been operating on the fact that Christmas 1 starts on Decemeber 15, while Christmas 2 starts on the 23rd (with Spencer's mom and stepdad), and Christmases 3, 4, 5 and 6 on the 25th with my parents, Spencer's dad, my mom's family and then my dad's family. Yes. I have to count Christmases. I count myself blessed (no sarcasm - I really do).

Anywho, let that be my pitiful excuse for my edition of D.U.H. (Don't Understand How [this made the news]) in my blog. I might bring it back from time to time; this way, though, I do all the research and bring you back headlines that would, for lack of a better term, allow you to pull my brother's famous *headdesk* move and shout the above acronym in frustration. Or, if you're less bananas than I, mutter it under your breath and move on to better things.

All headlines are hyperlinked for your reading pleasure. Enjoy!

Stallone says filming 'Rambo' was dangerous (MSNBC)

Lawmakers upset over reports of sex, shoplifting by pages (CNN)

Man makes record books for distance thrown in car accident (not exactly duh, but yikes) (Fox News)

Romney vows to defend all faiths (BBC America)