What a Decade

I know most of you are probably sick of the whole "let's reminisce about the good ol' days" recaps about the last 10 years already, and it's probably because they were pretty damn depressing. Let's admit it: There's been a lot to be sad about these past 10 years, starting with the whole world ending when the clock struck 2000 (it didn't, obviously) and ending with a war and a recession.

But I think these past 10 years were probably the most exciting for me yet. I'll have to count the life-changing events in there because there were so many. Tuck in for some reminiscing and allow me to take you through the last 10 years of my life:

1999: I graduated from high school in May and attended college at Penn State Behrend, and starting working at Wegmans (I will always have fond memories). Is this when Spence wrecked his first car? We take our annual family trip to Maine.

2000: Spence graduates from high school and decides to attend RIT in Rochester. He proposed to me that summer and I accepted. It was the beginning of a three-year long-distance engagement, and particularly depressing for the first few weeks. Spence drives his Relient K home to Erie every few weeks to visit. Our first OBX vacation. I get a tattoo and hide it from my parents for about a month.

2001: September 11. I will always remember this year, as will most Americans. Is this when the Relient K dies and Spence has to learn how to drive an '87 ('84?) Corvette in the snow? He teaches me how to drive it, the first standard I'll ever learn to drive. I start learning the layout of Rochester, NY and meet his roomie, Greg and friend Terry from work.

2002: At first, I can't remember a darn thing that happened this year, but then I remember - school is in full swing. I was elected president of Behrend's chapter of APO for both semesters in 2002. Promoted to managing editor for The Beacon. I'm a Schreyer Honors scholar and start my thesis work in the fall. Another OBX vacation. I turn 21 and get my belly button pierced and party. Spence starts a full-time job and school full-time.

2003: Pass thesis defense. I graduate from college. Spence and I marry in July, and we move to Rochester. After a fantastic honeymoon, I am not happy to leave Erie and have to adjust to living away from home for the very first time. Over Thanksgiving break, we buy two cats who are litter mates - Wesley and Buttercup. Our first apartment, a 750 sq. ft. one-bedroom flat, cuddles us in nicely. I work two jobs - Wegmans and the beverage cart chick at a local country club - and then land a job as a project manager at Element K.

2004: I find out on September 11 that I'm pregnant. I spend the rest of the year trying not to puke. One look at our one-bedroom flat and it's time to ask friends and family to move us into a two-bedroom townhouse down the street. With many tears, sweat and curse words, we serve free pizza and beer to those who moved a king-size mattress and solid oak bed set up our narrow stairway. Another OBX vacation in the summer.

2005: The words "starting a business" and "California" escape Spencer's lips when I'm eight months pregnant, and I cry at the thought of moving so far away from family. Rachel Anna makes her debut on May 17 after over 33 hours of labor (three hours of pushing) and the summer is bright, hot and spent on maternity leave, recuperating by walking up and down Lilac Drive every morning. Spencer graduates five days after her birth, on my birthday. OBX vacation.

2006: "Starting a business" and "California" are a reality. Spence leaves for California in May while I pack and wrap up our life in Rochester for a new endeavor on the West Coast. I lose the rest of my baby weight (20 lb.) during this time and remember sobbing as I left my mom and sisters in the Buffalo airport. California welcomes me in August with endless blue skies and seeing my husband for the first time in 10 weeks. I begin my own transcription business with the help of my aunt as a transcription apprentice. OBX, Florida and Maine that summer, but without Spence. We cook our first Thanksgiving dinner by ourselves. Weekly webcam nights begin. I join Facebook and MySpace.

2007: Life in California becomes habit. Spence works nonstop to keep a roof over us. Rachel and I spend the time exploring Sunnyvale. Spence, Rach and I spend Saturdays exploring the coast, getting lunch and enjoying San Francisco, Monterey Bay, Half Moon Bay and the Pacific Ocean. I get my nose pierced. My mom comes to visit around Easter, and then the rest of my family come in July to see the West Coast. I fly home in August for baby showers, parties, friends and family. We come home for Christmas. The economy crashes and the housing bubble blows. The business is on its last legs.

2008: The New Year brings new decisions - Spence decides it is time to move back East and start exploring other business avenues. Spence leaves to start his job on April 1. Mom comes to California one last time to help me pack. We hire movers this time around to carry our boxes and unload for us in Pennsylvania, in a quiet town south of Pittsburgh, in a three-bedroom townhouse. Cindy gets married. Elizabeth gets married. I get pregnant again and spend the rest of the year trying not to puke. We start to pay off debt from the business venture. OBX vacation.

2009: I get another job doing medical transcription. The country elects a black man as President. Tim gets married. Sela Chloe is born with flying colors (that's a gross pun) in a mere four hours of labor. The day is bright, hot and spent cuddling in a quiet birthing facility in downtown Pittsburgh. Family comes to celebrate I sleep in my own bed that night and shower in my own bathroom in the morning. We miss OBX. Sela gets colic. Rachel starts preschool. Sara starts driving.

I think I have more than enough to be thankful for as this decade begins to wind down. I count 15 life-changing events in this decade (one marriage, two graduations, four moves, two kids, three job changes for me, three job changes for him).

If you look online, the past decade is full of unfulfilled dreams, unpaid bills, a war and a warmer climate. You'll probably find something different, though, if you look in your heart. What was your decade like? How do you want your next decade to look? Me? I hope the next decade looks just as good as this past one.

Facebook Red Tape

So, lately I've realized that when I log into Facebook and Twitter these days, I find myself censoring myself before typing up a status or a Tweet. This is not necessarily a bad thing, because some days I'm prone to more profanity than others, but now I wonder why I'm doing it. Instead of these online tools opening the world to me, I find myself Tweeting a few times in my head before actually taking fingers to keyboard. There are three reasons I've identified so far, and there are probably more, but socializing online has created something of quandary for me when it comes to speaking my mind:

-Passive-aggressive statuses: Yesterday after the Steelers lost to the Raiders, I changed my Facebook status to "Defecting from Steelers Nation." Yeah, it was immature and in the heat of the moment, and I LOVE that one of my girlfriends told me to not take the bandwagon way out of it - she was direct about it and got me out of my funk. But then another friend updated her status later, essentially saying that "seriously, it's only a game... wow." Then one of her comments stated that she didn't hate the Steelers but didn't get why everyone gets so pissed off about their team losing. Look, maybe I was being a big baby that my team lost. Maybe she wasn't directing it at me. But then again, who was she directing her comments at? Couldn't you just comment on their wall and own up to your opinions? Just tell us how you really feel. Don't pussyfoot it. I can see everything that people do on Facebook... If we're so scared to have an opinion, maybe we should just keep it to ourselves.

-Family on Facebook: I love that my family is on Facebook, because I'm out of town and like to see what is going on their lives. At a Halloween party this year, I disseminated that fact to a fellow partygoer, who vowed that she would never, ever friend her parents on Facebook. She even looked a bit weirded out that I used Facebook in a different way than she did. Which gets me thinking: How we conduct ourselves in front of others is usually based on its social context. For example, we all act, censor and conduct ourselves in a particular way at work versus playing poker at a friend's house or partying at a bar. We are not wholly the same person in those situations. What does that say about our virtual selves, then? Who are you on Facebook? Who are you on Twitter? Can you say you're the same person in real life as on Facebook (and Facebook is NOT real life. I don't care how many teenyboppers say otherwise). But I will admit that there are some things I just don't discuss on Facebook because of who's been reading my status updates. I feel much more comfortable discussing some things in person.

-There's always another point of view: Recently I signed the Hopenhagen petition and posted it to my Facebook profile, feeling in a somewhat proactive mood. I got a comment from a former coworker of mine asking me to read a scholarly paper on the Copenhagen summit, which highlighted a lot of opposing points on which the summit might not be the best thing for the United States, and there were a lot of things to think about. Another former coworker posted (not in response to me) about the carbon footprint of the summit, and it was just awful: Hundreds of private planes, over 1,000 limos, and a mere five hybrid vehicles, because Denmark taxes the hell out of those suckers. Add that to the fact that there is a question of whether humans actually caused climate change, and the corporate sponsors of the Hopenhagen petition (Coca-Cola, BMW and Gap?!), I wonder if the petition truly outlined my hopes for how we conduct ourselves in reducing waste and not leaving so much garbage for our children. Regardless of whether the ice caps are melting because of humans or a natural change in the Earth's temperatures, we should continue our recycling habits anyway... but what are the implications of policy change for the world's most powerful governments and corporations? Is the movement towards being "green" beginning in the right place? Yeah, I don't know either.

As usual, I'm not sure if this analysis of my self-censoring will get me any closer to being more honest about who I am on Facebook compared to real life. I usually reserve my most controversial opinions about things to those closest to me, and my husband gets the brunt of it. These meanderings through social media have not only muddled what kinds of things I'm comfortable sharing online, but also ensured that anything I post is forever preserved on a server somewhere in the world, along with the other billions of Facebook statuses and Tweets that have come and are yet to be. If someone really cared, they could paint a picture of me using my entire Facebook history and come to a conclusion about who I am online. Would it be accurate to me, the person I see every day in the mirror? No. There are certain things I like to keep a mystery. At least the "About Me" section on my profile is completely and wholly reflective of who I am in person: "Come get to know me. I've got work to type."