Britney = Diana?

Rosie O'Donnell has had her share of hits in the past, what with being coined one of the most annoying celebrities ever, and her unforgettable sparring with La Hasselbeck on "The View." But I could not, for the life of me, find much wrong in Rosie's writing of this blog entry, in which she echoes the death of Princess Diana while painting a scene of insanity that took place at an LA courthouse yesterday.

People.com's headline proclaims that she is comparing Britney to the late Princess, but as usual, I think this is unfairly accurate. Why would Rosie would be dumb enough to take a Starbucks-addicted pop tartlet and compare her to a highly-esteemed woman who was a good mother and always associated with charity? Right now, it's generally agreed that Britney is not a good mother right now, and her face was never associated with charity, but only smooching the face of Madonna. Upon seeing this headline, I was incensed that Rosie would take this still-living Train Wreck and compare her to a woman of such natural beauty and grace with a huge heart for her two sons, as well as those who were less unfortunate than here. Alas: I have learned not to wholly trust misleading headlines, least of all from People.com, and read the blog entry myself.

There's no doubt that Diana and Britney are tied together by tragic consequences, although it seems to me that Diana at least held it together in the paparazzi swarm. Brit can't even get that far. They both did choose a life of publicity, Diana by marrying into the royal British family, and Britney dancing away on a Disney show (which, in all honesty, also demonstrates the carelessness that child stars' parents handle their children's rise to stardom, but that's for another day.) But Rosie's blog entry doesn't necessarily draw a direct comparison of Princess Diana and Princess of Pop - the sickening scene of the tunnel where Diana lost her life is used as a background to illustrate the crush of photogs when Britney finally arrived at the courthouse and then, apparently, at a church where Britney stopped at, apparently to find sanctuary for a few minutes, but also knowing that there is nothing sacred to the press.

I was impressed with the blog entry, all things considered. For all the weird things that she's doing, Britney seemed genuinely scared that she had to walk through the paparazzi to get to the courthouse. Rosie is rightfully empathetic with Britney's plight as a celebrity herself, what with this humble blogger being on a first-name basis already with these and other celebrities, as is the price to pay for a life of publicity: the right to free press tends to elucidate its prisoners.

Being some sort of free press myself, I wouldn't give it up for anything. There are soldiers overseas fighting for my right to blog in my jammies in this moment. But there are reasons why we don't know everything about other celebrities who are leading parts of their lives privately, and they've learned to play the game. With free press, they know the rules, written or unwritten, and learn to manipulate them: There's nothing like a dose of a real, boring life to make the camera flashes turn towards brighter targets. Victoria "Posh Spice" Beckham probably said it best: "I'm actually quite boring."

She's not, but boredom is certainly the poison that makes paparazzi scatter.